Frustration Tolerance

PUT YOUR HAND UP IF YOU’VE EXPERIENCED ANY OF THESE:

Racing heart, tight muscles, hot face, clenched fists, pacing, headache, bouncing your leg, stuttering.

DISCUSSION:

• “Think about this: has anyone ever told you to hold your breath when you’re frustrated, or to make a tight fist? Why do you think no one has told you to do that?”
• “If we don’t pause, we can sometimes make a problem bigger. Have you seen that happen before?”
• “Have you ever paused, or seen someone else pause?”
• “What does it look like for you to pause?”
• “Think back to the earlier examples, what might the consequences be if someone can’t manage their frustration when… (playing sports, relationship challenges, talking to police).”
• “In the past, what has helped you to pause?”
• “Can you tell us about a time when you didn’t pause, and it made things worse?”

“Pausing can help us survive a situation without making it worse. Now, let’s learn a powerful pausing technique: Box Breathing.”

Demonstrate:

Lead one round of box breathing.

Part 4: Practice Scenarios

10 MINUTES

“Let’s practice with real situations. I’ll describe a scenario, and we’ll work through it together using our Media Method.” Present a few appropriate scenarios (based on the age of the group), guiding the group through the method:

1. “You’ve been stuck on a math problem for 5 minutes…”
2. “You keep losing at an important game…”
3. “Your friend isn’t responding to your messages…”
4. “You were walking down the block to get some food, and the police stop you…”
5. “You were just released from jail, and don’t have any cash to get home…”

For each scenario:

1. Identify frustration triggers
2. Practice Media Method
3. Share solutions
4. Discuss outcomes

Part 5: Closing Exercise Personal Pause Plan

5 MINUTES

Remember, just like finding the right song for the moment, managing frustration is about finding what works for you.

On an index card, write a response to the following prompts. This is just for you, we won’t be sharing in the group unless you want to. Keep your plan handy and practice these skills. Next time we meet, we’ll share out how it worked.

1. What helps me to calm down?
2. What are some go-to solutions that have worked before?
3. Who are supportive people I can text/call?

CREATE INDIVIDUAL CARDS:

• Pause & Breathe: List personal calming techniques
• Check the Track: Write emotional awareness strategies
• Rewind: Note what’s worked before, or what you’ve learned in this program
• Play: List small actions to take, and people you can talk to or text

FACILITATOR NOTES:

• Address disruptions calmly
• Use Media Method yourself
• Model good frustration tolerance
• Provide individual support
• Extension activities
  • Design phone wallpapers

RESOURCES:

• Video explaining frustration, “flipping your lid”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bKuoH8CkFc

• This page explains using a traffic light system to manage anger, where red means stop and breathe, yellow means wait and think about solutions, and green means go forward calmly. The technique helps people pause before reacting and choose constructive actions rather than lashing out in anger. https://www.spiral2grow.com/traffic-light-system-to-overcome-anger/

• This PDF provides a printable anger control stoplight worksheet for children with sections to color red, yellow, and green. It includes practice scenarios like dealing with teasing or spilling milk to help kids learn to stop, calm down, and problem-solve when angry. https://mindedforfamilies.org.uk/Content/what_to_do_in_a_crisis_aggression/course/assets/f5fe19bea0d81b3789fbbc3805ce8d791d7be8c3.pdf

• This article explains the Stoplight Approach for helping children regulate emotions using traffic light colors: red for intense emotions requiring calm-down time, yellow for stress signals, and green for feeling safe and cooperative. The method emphasizes parents staying calm themselves and using connection rather than punishment to teach children self-control skills. https://www.focusonthefamily.ca/content/teaching-kids-how-to-calm-their-emotions-the-stoplight-approach

• This worksheet uses a traffic light framework to help individuals explore and manage anger by identifying what anger looks like at different levels (red, amber, green). It includes sections for describing anger expressions, helpful calming strategies, and unhelpful triggers or responses at each level. https://www.withyouth.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/My-Anger-Traffic-Lights.pdf

• This page describes a traffic light toolkit designed to help children move from difficult emotions (red) to calm emotions (green) using various coping strategies (yellow). The resource includes emotion cards, strategy cards, and a baseboard for children to visually plan how to regulate their emotions. https://www.elsa-support.co.uk/traffic-light-toolkit-for-emotional-regulation/

• This article explains how to use Jenga in therapy by numbering the blocks 1-45 and creating question lists for rapport-building, self-esteem work, or other therapeutic topics. The game helps anxious clients feel more comfortable talking while providing structure and engagement during therapy sessions. https://theplaytherapist.com/using-jenga-in-play-therapy/

• This activity uses Jenga to help groups discuss emotions related to grief or addiction by writing different emotions on the blocks. Players take turns pulling blocks and describing times they felt that emotion, with the falling tower representing how emotions can overwhelm us.https://elunanetwork.org/resources/activity-emotional-jenga/

• This blog post describes multiple ways to use Jenga in school counseling, including practicing self-control through silent play or comparing thoughtful versus impulsive decisions. The game can be adapted to any counseling topic by having students respond to prompts when pulling blocks or writing questions directly on the blocks. https://www.counselorchelsey.com/blog/ jengainschoolcounseling

• This article explains that impulsive thoughts are sudden urges to act without considering consequences, often leading to immediate action, while intrusive thoughts are unwanted, distressing thoughts that cause discomfort but don’t prompt behavior. The piece discusses how each type relates to different mental health conditions and provides specific coping strategies for managing both. https://psychcentral.com/anxiety/impulsive-vs-intrusive-thoughts#Takeaway