Empathy

Learning Objectives:

• Build empathy for people who hold different perspectives and/or have different life experiences  
• Understand the difference between empathy and sympathy 

Materials Needed:

• Six situation cards, pre-written with example situations 

  Preparation:

• Pre-write the 6 empathy situations (found in Part 3) on the situation cards and number them 1-6 

Part 1: Opening Ice Breaker – If You Really Knew Me

10 minutes

Facilitator Script:

“We’re going to start today with a game called ‘If you really knew me…’ We’ll move around the circle and each of us will tell the group something about ourselves that we think other group members don’t know about us. For the first topic we will use ‘things you like to do.’ I’ll start. My name is ______ and if you really knew me, you’d know that I really like ________.” 

Repeat step three until all group members have spoken.  

Additional topics:  

• “If you really knew about my family, you would know that…” 
• “If you really knew me, you’d know that I don’t like…”  

Part 2: Main Lesson

15 minutes

Part 2a: Introduction 

“Today, we’re going to talk about what it might feel like being in ‘someone else’s shoes,’ that is, how it could feel to be in another person’s life situation. We are all human; we are different in many ways, and also in many ways we are the same. We all have different home situations, come from different places, think and believe different things. We also ALL have struggle, we all feel pain, and we all need support.” 

Present two contrasting situations to discuss: 

“Imagine someone you know is dealing with anger issues. They often get into conflicts and people are starting to avoid them. From the outside, it looks like they’re just causing trouble.” 

“Now imagine being that person—dealing with intense emotions you struggle to control, watching relationships slip away, and feeling like no one understands what’s really going on inside.” 

Discussion prompts: 

• “What might be going on in that person’s life that others don’t see?” 
• “How might it feel to want to control your reactions but struggle to do so?” 
• “What could others do differently if they knew the whole story?” 
• “What would you want people to understand about having these struggles?” 

Part 2b: Understanding Empathy vs. Sympathy 

“Before we continue, let’s make sure we understand what empathy really means and how it’s different from sympathy. 

Sympathy is when you feel sorry for someone else’s situation. You recognize that they’re going through something difficult, but you’re looking at it from the outside. With sympathy, you might say things like ‘I’m sorry that happened to you’ or ‘That’s too bad.’ 

Empathy is different—it’s about stepping into someone else’s shoes and trying to feel what they feel. Instead of looking down at someone’s situation from above, empathy means climbing down into that difficult place with them and saying, ‘I’m here with you, and you’re not alone.’ 

Think of it this way: 

• Sympathy says: ‘I feel sorry for you.’ 
• Empathy says: ‘I feel with you.’” 

Example scenario: Your friend fails an important test. 

• Sympathetic response: “Oh no, that’s terrible! I’m sorry you failed. At least you can retake it.” 
• Empathetic response: “That must be so disappointing and stressful. I can imagine how worried you might be feeling about what this means for your grade.” 

The empathetic response connects with the person’s feelings rather than trying to fix the situation or minimize it. 

Discussion question:

“Can anyone think of a time when someone showed you sympathy versus empathy? How did each one feel different?” 

Part 2c: What Empathy Looks Like

Empathy looks like: 

• Giving full attention to a person (verbal or non-verbal) 
• Listening to facts and feelings 
• Accepting someone’s feelings 
• Giving feedback on what you hear 

For example: “You sound very upset about your phone that was stolen.”  

Empathy is important because it helps us build stronger relationships and creates trust between people. When we show empathy, people feel heard and understood, conflicts are easier to resolve, we build deeper connections with others, and communities become stronger and more supportive. Without empathy, we risk: increased misunderstandings and conflicts, people feeling isolated and alone, making assumptions that hurt others, and missing opportunities to help someone who needs support. 

Empathy isn’t just about understanding others, it’s also about understanding yourself. Self-empathy means recognizing your own feelings without judgment and treating yourself with the same kindness you would show to a close friend.  

Discussion question:

“When is a time that you showed empathy to someone else? How did you know what they needed from you?” 

Part 3: Empathy Game

15 minutes

1. With the participants seated in a circle, pass out the “situation cards” so that six participants have one card. 
2. ​​​Ask the participant with the first card to read their situation aloud, and then ask them to repeat it to the group.  
3. Ask the participant, “How would you feel if this was happening to you?”  
4. Ask the rest of the group of participants, “Does anyone else have something to add? How would you feel?” 
5. Repeat steps 3-4 until all situation cards are read. 

Discussion Question: 

How does this exercise influence how you see people different from you? 

What is something you could do or say to show empathy to a person similar to the ones we talked about today?  

Situation Cards: 

1.  I got punished me for something my sibling did 
2.  I don’t have enough food at home 
3. My friends met up to play basketball and no one invited me 
4. My phone was stolen today 
5. I got kicked out of class 
6. A group of kids that I don’t know jumped me, and I don’t know why 

Part 4: Closing

5 minutes

• What is one way you have shown empathy to someone outside of group?  
• Or, how could you show empathy to someone outside of group?  
• How can you show empathy to yourself?