Conflict Resolution

Follow-up is an important final step. At the next meeting, participants should come together to discuss their agreements and if they were upheld, and how they feel since the agreements were made. This may also uncover the need to make new or additional agreements.

Part 4: Facilitator Practice – Demonstration

20 MINUTES

If possible, use a real conflict between two participants in the group. If there is no present conflict, use this scenario as a demonstration. 

Scenario Setup:

Two participants will role-play a conflict while others observe the facilitation process.

Sample Conflict:

Person A shared something Person B told them in confidence, and it got back to Person B, causing hurt and broken trust.

Guided Facilitation Demonstration

Step 1: P – Pause and Prepare the Sacred Space (1 minute)

1. Facilitator: “Take three deep breaths together”
2. Facilitator, set intention: “We gather to heal, not to harm. We’ll begin by hearing from both of you about what happened. Listen without being defensive. You may not agree with what the other person is saying, and defensiveness escalates the conflict. An assumption is not a fact, it’s a thought distortion. You might not have the correct information.”

Step 2: E – Express and Empathize (What Happened?) (5 minutes)

1. Facilitator: “We’ll begin by hearing from both of you about what happened. [Person A], please take the talking piece and share your account of the situation and how it made you feel. [Person B], you’ll have your turn next, and we ask everyone to listen without response right now.”
2. Person A speaks fully, then passes talking piece to Person B. Person B then shares their account completely.
3. Facilitator: “Thank you both for sharing your truth. Before we move forward, is there anything else either of you needs to add about what happened or how you felt?”

Step 3: A – Acknowledge the Impact (8 minutes)

1. Facilitator: “Now our circle has the opportunity to ask clarifying questions and share how this situation has affected them. Let’s start with questions about what happened, then we can explore feelings.”
2. Circle members ask questions like:
   • “Can you help me understand the timeline?”
   • “What did you expect would happen when you shared that information?”
   • “How did you learn that the information had been shared?”
3. Facilitator: “[Person A] how would you describe how this situation has affected you?”
4. Facilitator: “[Person B], how would you now describe how this situation has affected you?” 
5. Facilitator: “Circle, how has this conflict impacted our community? What agreements do you feel were affected?”

Step 4: C – Create Healing (5 minutes)

1. Facilitator: “Now we focus on healing. [Person B], since you experienced the harm of broken confidentiality, what do you need from [Person A] to begin healing?”
2. Facilitator: “[Person A], what do you need to move forward? Circle, what do you need from both parties to feel trust is restored in our community?”

Sample requests might include:

• “I need an acknowledgment that sharing my private information was harmful”
• “I need a commitment that you’ll ask permission before sharing personal things I tell you”
• “I need to rebuild trust slowly through consistent actions”

Step 5: E – Engage in Action (Have We Reached Agreement?) (2 minutes)

1. Facilitator: “[Person A], are you willing to commit to [specific requests]?” 
2. Facilitator: “[Person B], are you willing to [any mutual commitments]?”
3. Facilitator: “Let’s hear each person restate their specific commitments.”

IF AGREEMENT REACHED:

“Thank you for your courage in this process. We’ll check in [timeframe] to see how these commitments are going.”

IF NO AGREEMENT:

“It sounds like we need more conversation about what healing looks like. Shall we continue discussing these requests or plan another circle?”

Part 5: Debrief and Integration Circle

10 MINUTES

Reflection Questions (using talking piece):

• “How did it feel different to address conflict with community support versus privately?”
• “When might you use this process in your real life?”
• “Share one insight you’re taking from this experience.”
• “How will you contribute to creating healing in conflicts you encounter?”

Closing Ritual:

“We close this circle with gratitude for practicing courage, compassion, and accountability. May we carry these skills into our relationships and communities, choosing healing over harm.”

Facilitator Notes

Signs of Successful Process:

• Both parties feel fully heard
• Impact is acknowledged without defensiveness
• Requests are reasonable and specific
• Commitments are made voluntarily
• Follow-up plans are clear

When to Pause or Stop:

• Safety concerns arise
• Community agreements are repeatedly violated
• Someone becomes too dysregulated to continue
• Power dynamics make fair participation impossible
• New information suggests need for different intervention

Follow-up Considerations:

• Schedule check-in circles as committed
• Document agreements (with permission)
• Connect participants to ongoing support if needed
• Celebrate successful relationship repair when it occurs

Facilitator Guide for the PEACE Method: